Playing hooky after surgery

So one of the things that finally inspired me to go ahead and create this blog (and by the way, it is REALLY easy) was the fact that I am home this week "recovering" from a hysteroscopy. I put that word in quotes because I feel fine. I could run, work, function as normal but I am supposedly not allowed to...prior to surgery, my dr instructed me to take a week from work. She also said I would probably have a catheter so I don't know if that was why she wanted me home for a week. I made the mistake of looking online and one site said I could go to work immediately. The guilt, the guilt...i am a coward and have not called my dr to ask what I can and can't do. I am absolutely taking advantage and playing hooky.

I feel guilty...this is now how I am conditioned. I am supposed to work and be productive. I am having a hard time "relaxing" yet I am not willing to do anything about it. Why can't I just enjoy it??? What a complainer...here is what I AM doing...looking for a job, a housecleaner and thinking about a vacation. I am exploring jobs and work from home opportunities. That would be awesome. Anyway, how do you guys deal with the guilt of responsibility vs. taking time for you??

My first day

Here I go...I have been thinking about starting a blog for a month or so, but never thought I had anything that special to say. Who would listen? Who cares? I am a 36-year-old woman in the South struggling to have a baby I am not even sure I want. There, I said it. This is my journey to get there...I am learning as I go. What I want, what I don't want and how I can be my best self getting there. My dad often says "what is happiness anyway? People always say 'I just want my kids happy.' But I say I want them fulfilled." Now I don't know how I feel about that, but I am sure I will explore it here. Bear with me, as I figure this out. I wanted to start this blog to get my crazy, random thoughts on paper or screen and let out some of my angst. I have a lot of it!!

I hope you will join me as I chronicle my journey to get pregnant, navigate my 2nd marriage to my amazing husband and try to endure the annoyness (word?) of my neighbors, I'll refer to as "the "nentas" (neighbors+yentas). I hope you learn something and selfishly, I hope you TEACH me something. Otherwise, why am I here? I'll try to post often. It's annoying when you visit a blog and there's nothing new. Thanks and let's get to know each other. Why are you here???